Monday, 11 February 2019

The Dignity of Love


It’s the week of February 14 - Valentine’s Day.  It’s a good week to write about love. :)
I don’t know about you, but I sure have a lot of love in my life. My faith reminds me I am loved (by God) simply because I was born (not because of what I can or cannot do).  I am loved unconditionally even when I mess up over and over. How good is that! Then of course my husband, my children, my grandchildren, my siblings and a ton of in-laws plus a great group of friends (old and new) give me a pretty terrific life of loving and being loved. Besides that, I love walking, reading, writing, laughing, and connecting with people. Plus I love chocolate, cheese, and a good cup of tea!! And that is not the end of my 'list' of LOVE's. 

I know there are probably lots of people this week who feel unloved and unlovable.  God created the world to be a place of mutual relationships and the human spirit to be caring and helpful, affectionate and kind. Yet, many people are targets of being dishonored, disgraced, and forgotten.  I just finished reading a book called “Leading with Dignity – how to create a culture that brings out the best in people” by Dr. Donna Hicks. It’s an excellent read that defines dignity as ‘our inherent value and worth’ - what we were born with. To simply be human is to have dignity. In a nutshell – love and honor yourself, don’t allow anyone to rob it, and then honor dignity in others.   When we honor dignity, we all thrive so much better in our relationships and in our world as a whole.  

A great illustration in this book is what the author calls the “Mandella conscious”. When Nelson Mandella entered Robben Island prison in South Africa (where he would spend 27 years), he realized from the outset what the guards were trying to do to him and the other prisons – strip them of their dignity. Mandella’s response?  “Prison and the authorities conspire to rob each man of his dignity. In and of itself, that assured me that I would survive, for any man or institution that tries to rob me of my dignity will lose because I will not part with it at any price or under any pressure.” (A Walk to Remember).  

Dr. Hicks worked in the field of international conflict for 25 years. She finishes her book with this comment: “It has taken me a long while to figure out that at its core, conflict is created in the absence of love, and if we want to bring an end to violence and suffering in the world, we need to get better at loving – practicing the art of loving through the honoring of dignity.”

Morris and I were sharing with a group of officers over the past weekend. We used a current phrase being used by the General of The Salvation Army: “Battle Ready”.  As Christians, we believe in the principle of spiritual warfare against evil.  The Bible teaches us to combat evil with love in order for hope to be present in our broken world.  At our Officers Councils, I chose to speak about ‘the weapon of love’ as the foundation for winning this battle over evil. (Morris did a study on the ‘full armor God’ for the battle – talking about truth, faith, holy living, the Scriptures, and prayer.)

As I talked about love to the officers, I declared that love seems so basic. Dr. Hicks in her book says the same thing. At the core, loving others by honoring their dignity "is as simple and straightforward as that”. Yet we don’t always get it. And we don’t always action it. Why else is there so much conflict – in families, in workplaces, and in the world at large.

Evelyn Lindner, a German-Norweigian medical doctor and psychologist, defines love as “the principle around which we live and organize our lives and the world. Love - forceful, fierce, and big - is the only true antidote to humiliation. Love is what heals. Love is a force that can be used or wasted.”

On Sunday at a Divisional worship gathering, with probably 800+ people gathered 'under the trees' for worship, I saw love in action when a couple gentleman who appeared to have some emotional or mental health problems were quite welcomed to participate in what was happening and were not shunned. They danced to their own delight and their dignity was honored.  There may have been some smiles because these folks are not bashful in how they present themselves, but they were embraced and no one was robbing their dignity.

No matter how many times I read about the life of Jesus, I honestly cannot find any better example to follow. There is so much to learn about love from his life. Seriously, even if you are not a believer, you surely can’t refute what Jesus taught.  Jesus embodied love in action and showed us how to do it too - help the person who cannot pay you back, choose forgiveness instead of retaliation, increase someone’s self-esteem in place of shaming, be kind instead of rude, and understand without judging. 

I hope this week we not only celebrate love, but we find new ways to put it into action – how about honoring the dignity of someone who just might not feel dignified.  Whatever you are doing on Thursday, do a little extra LOVING! I’m pretty sure it will be well worth it.

Much LOVE,
Wanda & Morris

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